I experienced The House of Mouse for the first time in my life just last year, and, while it was exciting, it didn’t take my breath away. This is almost definitely because I went there mainly to stay in a Disney resort for free and see some friends while spending most of the time at Universal Studios’ Magiktastical Realm of Ohmystars It’s Harry Potter Landworld. Truth be told, I never even made it into the Magic Kingdom proper; we dove right into the Star Wars side of things and only left to head over to Epcot for their food and wine festival. “Disney” was really more of a general address, a place to leave our luggage, and I wasn’t very bothered by not having had the true Disney experience.
When we ventured down again this summer I was ready to let the Disney in; I had picked up a more than casual interest in The Haunted Mansion, and while that was going to be my focal point, my cynical suit of armor that had repelled the Disney brand for most of my adult life was worn thin, and I was ready to try going it unarmed. I was not prepared to be so completely consumed by the experience that a near-impenetrable bubble of joy would envelop and carry me through the many hours of standing and walking and riding and walking some more. Not only did the joy-bubble keep me in a state of bliss after my wallet was stolen within our first few minutes there (well, that was actually Bear, but I reserve the right to call her a joy-bubble), it allowed me to become Kind Of Okay With Amusement Parks for a time. Most importantly, I allowed the joy-bubble to lift me up to the hungry, smiling maw of the great merchandising beast and present me as a willing, fat snack. Down the technicolor gullet I went, beaming like an idiot while thinking if all of the splendiferous bits and bobs I would buy if I ever had a wallet and money again. A ten-dollar pen with a small metal Pooh bangle? CUTEST THING EVER! A hand towel featuring the likeness of Maleficent? GIVE ME TWELVE OF THEM. A packet of tissues featuring Jack Skellington on the disposable cover? I WILL PROBABLY DIE IF I DON’T OWN THIS VERY SOON. Mickey Mouse this, that and everything in between?
IT IS MAGICAL AND BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE IT I’M GETTING OLD AND I’M GOING TO DIE SOMEDAY.
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